Today, I was scrolling through my Instagram feed, when I saw Tony Robbins say these words: “If I were to ask you what your X-Factor is, what would you tell me? What makes you UNIQUE? Why would I do business with you? What do YOU have to offer that others in your space can’t, don’t, or won’t do? How do YOU add massive value to people unlike anyone else? Would you be able to answer me with certainty and congruency?”
It is like Tony is speaking from my heart. His words are very similar to the words, thoughts, and mission that I continue to live by. These are the questions that I always ask myself and those I serve.
The truth is though, when you ask some of the questions above to others: Students, colleagues, and even yourself, you will often get hesitation. The person may even go blank in thought. The reason being is that these are not ordinary questions that people ask one another. These are deeper level, “who are you?” questions that require you to do some serious soul-searching, which is the path I believe we should be gravitating towards.
We ask our teachers to continually lead their classrooms with critical questioning about the academic learning that takes place. But, when it comes to getting to know ourselves and one another, we often stick with our easy, conversational filler, superficial conversations. When I say this, I am not stating that small talk is always a bad thing, because it is not. But, as a unit, I think we owe it to ourselves, our colleagues, and those we serve to focus on our people in a more deep and authentic way.
We know a whole lot about academics, content, and teaching, but we often do not focus on the learning of WHO WE ARE. This is why self-care in education has become relevant now more than ever. Many educators, myself included, often struggle with taking care of ourselves due to being the servants of love that we embody for others.
Who Are You?
The question, “who are you?,” cannot be figured out just by a series of questioning. It is more complex. But, to get the ball rolling, I often jumpstart this thinking with questions like, but not limited to:
- If you take the academics out of the picture, who are you?
- What energy do you bring to a space?
- What passions do you possess (inside and outside of school)?
- How do you bring those passions into the work you do?
- What personality traits do you have that are unique to you?
- What gifts and talents do you possess that help make you the educator and person you are?
- When working with a team of people, what do you often bring to the table that others do not?
We all have such varied paths of life and learning that make us completely different than anyone else. That uniqueness is our gift. We must constantly remind ourselves of this.
What Are Your Talents Tied to?
When I was a student going through school, when I thought of all of the skills that I had, I always thought of the skills that benefited me as a student. For example, if you were to ask me what I was good at in school, I would have told you a specific subject area. The same goes for many other people and kids.
If we think about it, from Kindergarten to college, and beyond, we see our value on our report cards. Many of us see our skills and our worth tied to the numbers and letters next to a standard or content area.
To take this further, it is incredible to love and be skilled in a subject area. Passion in a subject area may be your building blocks for your future hobby, journey, or career. If so, that is a wonderful feeling. But, if you tie your worth to a subject area, and then struggle, your identity as a person and as a learner may get confused. At least it did in my experience.
Throughout my life, I was always passionate about dance. I danced from a young girl to a young adult, many times a week. I passionately practiced and performed ballet, tap, jazz, hip-hop, and Irish Dancing. I loved it more than words could properly explain. I loved being able to express myself through motion, with the beat of the music beneath me.
When I began college, I tried out for the dance team, and made it. But shortly after, I quit. I did not quit because I wanted to quit. I quit but because I felt the pressure of putting my academics first. I saw myself as a learner, not a dancer. I wish someone would have told me I could be both.
I often wonder, how often do students get messages like this that many adults are unaware of?
Which leads me to this question: What are your talents tied to?
After we think of this question as it relates to us, we can also strive to think of this question as it applies to students. I also ponder: How are we giving students the opportunity to express themselves in a variety of ways? What subliminal messages do we send to students without realizing it? Do we help see students see their worth inside and outside of academics? Do students know their X-Factor?
The Road Continues. . .
It is an evolution into becoming who you are. Who you are changes by the day because our experiences shape us.
But, despite what point of the road you are on, know that you have something within you that no one else has. It may be the way you interact with others, it may be your ability to problem solve, it may be your leadership skills, or it may be many other combinations of special skills and gifts. With this said, make it part of your daily routine to point out the strengths of others as well. It may be a simple gesture, but it could be just what another person needs to better discover and recognize who they are.
