We all know that building relationships is king in education. Without a relationship, your teaching is really not teaching at all.
But, I have found that we often think we are building a relationship and a solid rapport with a student, when in reality, the student may not feel the same way. This is a hard reality when you experience this. But, when it does happen, you have to find a way to break through the barrier, and hear what that child is saying. . . Even if it is hard to hear. Even if it points out that you need to be doing something differently.
When I think of my most meaningful memories as a educator, I think of the times that students and I pushed through hard times together to form a breakthrough, no matter how small. Even if these breakthroughs took all year, or longer. It’s not glitzy and glamorous, but it is the work I yearn for.
I remember working with one student who I was diligently supporting and advocating for. I really enjoyed working with this student. With that said, this same student, who I believed I had a strong rapport with, did not feel the same. Instead, he told me that he knew that I cared, but did not believe that I believed in him.
I would be lying if I said those words did not hurt. But, it is what I needed to hear.
His words pointed out to me is that there is a difference between caring about a student and showing them that you believe in them. Perception is reality. We can show we care and believe in students in our own way, but if it is not meeting students in their way, we may have a misfiring of a connection.
We can work through this, but we must first acknowledge it.
Sometimes showing we believe in our students takes time for students to receive it. We may be putting that students needs first, but that student may need more time for us to show that we will never give up on them, and rightfully so.
Therefore, as days and weeks followed with that student, I took different approaches in working with him- I got to know more about his passions, skills, and talents. I listened more deeply to this students point of view. I found ways to collaborate with the student to help him leverage his skills and voice for change. I let him know in a multitude of ways that he is important and how I liked seeing the world through his eyes. Even when this child made mistakes, as all kids do, I stood by my belief that I would never give up on him. Instead, I knew that we would continue to find another way. There is always another way.
Showing students we believe in them is something we have to authentically do through each interaction. We have to push ourselves to see a multitude of points of view so we can do better. Building strong and meaningful relationships takes a focus on the we, and the focus on the student, not on the me.
Everyone wants to know that no matter what, they have someone who believes in them. Even the student who gets sent to the office the most.
How are we showing our students that we believe in THEM?
